Blog ⌨️

You don’t have to be alone to feel alone

I was doing ok until one day God let me know that it was not good for man to be alone and the island I had created for myself wasn’t good. 

I wasn’t sure what he meant by it because I wasn’t alone, I had a lot of people in my life. I had family, I had friends, I even had my pets. So I kinda ignored it. 

Soon the subject would be brought up again, this time at my church. God was using people to get the word to me but I would tell myself it wasn’t directed at me or it wasn’t God but deep down I knew it was him and I knew it was directed at me. You don’t have to be alone to feel alone. 

I told myself that because I wasn’t physically alone I wasn’t alone, so how could I feel alone? I told that lie so well that I believed it myself. By not touching the subject of love at all, I thought I was doing best.

This new found truth got brought to my attention again through my uncle who I see as a second father. 

My family and I took a trip to stay with him and my aunt. We were catching up and sharing in our family time and I mentioned I might adopt a little girl one day. My cousin had just had a baby so my uncle was super excited about being a grandpa.

My uncle had some words to share. Words that shocked me. My uncle wasn’t the type to bring up anything personal and he had never asked me about my love life.

He said he had been waiting for a few years now to see when I was going to decide on a man, that I seemed to have dated great guys – Side note: they weren’t that great. After a few years he noticed that I wasn’t giving any of them a fair chance. I was planning my future but I never added a man in there. Ooops. It was something I hadn’t even noticed. I was planning to have a child and the decision to adopt is what came to mind.